Alive by the Grace of God

By Autumn

Testimony Information

Name: Autumn

Recovery Category: Drug Recovery

Recovery Milestone: 10 Years Sober

Testimony Title:Alive by the Grace of God

Favorite Bible Verse:Not provided

Shared with Permission: ✔ Published with the contributor's permission.

Autumn's Story

(The following testimony has been edited only for spelling, grammar, punctuation, and paragraph formatting. The story and personal voice remain those of the contributor.)

"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." — Psalm 34:18 (KJV)

"My addiction started when my son was about three weeks old..."

Autumn never imagined that a prescription written by a physician would become the beginning of an eleven-year battle with opioid addiction. What followed was a journey through brokenness, despair, loss, and ultimately, a life transformed by the grace of God.

Today, after ten years of sobriety, Autumn shares her testimony in the hope that someone else will discover they are never beyond God's reach.

✦ ✦ ✦

By Autumn

Recovery Category: Drug Recovery

Recovery Milestone: 10 Years Sober

"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit."
Psalm 34:18 (KJV)

Some recovery stories begin in unexpected places.

Autumn never imagined that a prescription written by a physician would become the beginning of an eleven-year battle with opioid addiction. What followed was a journey through brokenness, despair, loss, and ultimately, a life transformed by the grace of God.

Today, after ten years of sobriety, Autumn shares her testimony in the hope that someone else will discover they are never beyond God's reach.

The following testimony has been edited only for spelling, grammar, punctuation, and paragraph formatting. The story and personal voice remain those of the contributor.

My addiction started when my son was about three weeks old. He was extremely sick, and medical professionals would not help me. I could not sleep and started hallucinating. My doctor prescribed opioids to help me sleep.

My son was finally diagnosed and saved. But where did that leave me?

An addict.

I was officially addicted to the medications. But was I an addict? Couldn't be. A doctor gave them to me, not a dealer.

Over the next eleven years, the addiction only got worse. I was doctor shopping and ultimately resorted to buying pills on the street. But I still wasn't an addict, right?

Until I was.

My life was spiraling. I had left my son's father and made the horrible decision to go back to a man who almost killed me. I realized that I had become a horrible person and an even worse mother to my son.

I made the decision, in a split second, to take EVERYTHING I had and end it all. I thought my son would be better off being raised without me.

So, as he sat in the back seat of my car with me in the front passenger seat, I swallowed handful after handful until it was all gone.

I texted my dad, "I love you. I'm sorry," then removed the batteries from both my phone and my son's phone to make us untraceable.

My dad panicked.

I went to "sleep" about thirty minutes later.

This is where, sadly, my eleven-year-old son had to fill in the blanks.

He realized something was wrong about five and a half hours later when he could not wake me up. He found the phones and the batteries and put them back together.

My dad had been on the phone all night with AT&T and the police department where I lived.

All of a sudden, there was a hit on our phones.

My son kept rubbing my face and talking to me.

I never talked back.

Once the police and EMS got to me, they placed me on a stretcher and my son in the back of a police car.

That was when my heart stopped.

My dad was still on the phone with the officer. They kept telling him, "We can't get her back. We need permission to take advanced measures."

My dad asked no questions. He just said, "DO IT!"

They had to inject adrenaline directly into my heart.

On the third attempt, my dad was told that if it did not work, they would have to call it.

He prayed harder than he had his entire life.

Then there it was.

A weak but present rhythm.

I was in a coma for three days, but I was alive.

It was uncertain what my condition would be if or when I ever woke up.

On day three, I woke up but still do not remember anything.

It took over a week for me to realize where I was, what had happened, and why I was there.

Then reality set in.

I had survived but lost it all.

My son.

My freedom to be trusted to live alone.

My independence.

My career of over ten years hung in the balance.

At forty years old, I was forced to move back home with my parents.

But I found my fight about three weeks into recovery.

It started with little goals, with my ultimate goal being to get my son back, become independent again, and return to the career I loved.

I fought the courts and my mental demons for eight and a half months.

Intense therapy.

NA and AA twice a day.

I fought back.

My dad told me that no judge would ever give a child back to a parent who had done what I did in front of the child.

That's when it happened.

I had my son for one of my first UNSUPERVISED visits.

Yes, after raising this child alone for eleven years, my actions caused me to have to have someone with me at all times when he was around.

My son and I were playing in the driveway, and he caused me to drop my phone, shattering the screen.

I put my phone in the shop to be repaired and was using his phone to play a game.

Curiosity got the best of me, and I went to his photos.

That is when I saw the most shocking thing.

My baby with a black eye and a handprint covering his entire face.

I lost it.

Remember, I did not have my phone and therefore did not have any of my legal counsel's contact information.

I started screaming,

"SERENITY! COURAGE! WISDOM!"

Over and over until the peace came.

See, I had to take him back to the man who caused those injuries the following morning.

I just could not do that.

But I had been doing so well.

I was following my steps and living right.

What was I going to do?

That is when the wisdom came.

Log in with my Gmail.

There they were.

All of the contacts that I needed, one by one.

I sent an email and included all of the evidence, including a video of my son telling me what had happened.

Within thirty minutes, I got the response:

"DO NOT RETURN THAT CHILD."

There it was.

Everything had paid off in that moment.

I still wasn't working again, but I had my baby back.

FULL CUSTODY FROM ACROSS STATE LINES!!

I was not much of a believer, but all of this changed me.

I returned to the career that I love and still work in it to this day.

It has been almost ten years since all of this happened.

Serenity, courage, wisdom, and God got me through.

God saw something in me worth saving.

I mattered.

He didn't give up on me, so neither could I.

But here is the human part.

That wasn't the happily ever after.

It was, however, the end of addiction.

I ended up in a marriage with an addict.

I thought I could change him.

The fact is that when you are dealing with an addict, YOU can't change them.

Only THEY can do that.

Finally, after eight years of a very tumultuous marriage, he chose to continue his life without me.

As for me...

I am great.

Still sober.

And finally living for me and only me.

My story is not perfect.

Neither am I.

But I am saved.

I came out on the other side.

Now I am trying to pass it on to others in the hope that no one has to lose their life to end addiction.

Everyone is worth it.

Do not be too hard on yourself if you stumble.

It makes you human.

But for heaven's sake, don't stay on the ground.

GET UP!!!

Move with purpose...

and try again.

✦ ✦ ✦

A Note from Promise Harbor

Autumn, thank you for entrusting Promise Harbor with your story.

As we read your testimony, we were struck by your honesty. You didn't present yourself as someone who always made the right choices. Instead, you shared the fear, the regret, the consequences, the setbacks, and the victories exactly as you experienced them. That kind of transparency is rare, and it takes genuine courage.

One thing that especially stood out was your willingness to tell the parts of your story that many people would rather hide—the overdose, the loss of your independence, the difficult road of rebuilding trust, and even the challenges that came after recovery. Those details remind us that recovery is not about pretending life becomes perfect. It is about continuing to get back up, one day at a time, with God's help.

Your words, "God saw something in me worth saving. I mattered. He didn't give up, so neither could I," beautifully capture the hope of the Gospel. Every person who visits Promise Harbor needs to hear that truth.

We also admire the determination you showed throughout your recovery. You fought for your sobriety. You fought for your son. You fought through therapy, meetings, courtrooms, and difficult decisions. Those victories did not come easily, and we thank God for the perseverance He cultivated in your life.

Finally, thank you for ending your testimony by turning your attention toward those who are still struggling. Your encouragement to "GET UP!!! Move with purpose and try again." is more than advice—it is a reminder that failure does not have to be the final chapter of anyone's story.

On behalf of everyone at Promise Harbor, thank you for allowing us to share your testimony. We pray that God continues to strengthen your walk with Him and uses your story to encourage many others who may be wondering if hope is still possible.

Congratulations on ten years of sobriety. We rejoice with you and thank God for His faithfulness throughout your journey.

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." — Galatians 6:9 (KJV)

Your friends at Promise Harbor

You're Not Alone

If this testimony encouraged you, please know that your story is not over.

Whether you're struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety, grief, or another difficult season of life, there is hope in Jesus Christ.

We invite you to:

• Explore our Christian Recovery Resources

• Submit a Prayer Request

• Read more Recovery Testimonies

• Share your own testimony when you're ready

No matter how many times you've fallen, God's grace is greater than your past, and His mercy is new every morning.

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." — Philippians 1:6 (KJV)

Promise Harbor exists to encourage, equip, and remind you that you never have to walk this journey alone.

May God continue to write beautiful chapters in your story.